“I’m sad”, “I’m exhausted”, “I can’t take it anymore”, “Everything’s just wrong”, “Life sucks”, “Nothing’s fun anymore”, “I don’t feel like doing anything”, etc…..
Does any of that sound familiar?
We’ve all been through rough times and felt like crap before, right?.
I mean, who hasn’t?
But when we’re burnt out and depressed, it’s more than just having a rough time or a crappy day.
Most people would say to you things like “just feel better” or “snap out of it!”.
But it’s not like that.
It’s way stronger than your will and even if you wanna feel better you’ll still isolate and probably continue to go down the negativity spiral.
And it’ll affect every single area of your life.
You get super anxious and overwhelmed, maybe even get panic attacks; you’re lethargic and you simply can’t function properly. Maybe you can’t concentrate or sleep, you forget stuff, you feel totally drained and nothing really matters to you anymore.
So, it’ll obviously affect your work, relationships and physical health.
If you don’t do anything to change it, nobody will. Because, well, it’s your life.
And if you don’t do anything about it, it’s just gonna slowly suck the life out of you. It’ll get worse and, regardless of how bad you feel and think things are, it can always get even worse.
I know this first-hand and can tell you so much more about it because I’ve experienced it before.
I’ve been deeply burnt out and depressed. For real.
(more on that story on a separate post because I don’t want to make this too long for you)
The bad news? It totally sucks. Duh!
The good news? There’s a way around it.
You can learn to cope with it. You can transform it. If you choose to.
Because know this: you have the choice, and once you choose to feel better, there are several ways to actually make it happen and then to learn to come back faster to a state of joy when it hits you again.
It’s an ongoing process. It’s not just like “Oh ok, so I do this one thing now, and then it’s gone forever!”. Nope. It’s more about learning to navigate the ups and downs.
So, based on my own experience with burnout and depression, I’m writing this post with the intention to put into actionable steps how you can start transforming it and feeling better even when you think there’s no way out of it right now.
Step 1: Acceptance.
Obviously to solve an issue, you have to acknowledge that there’s an issue in the first place.
So, this is all about accepting to yourself that there’s something going on within you that you need to pay attention to and to work on.
The key here, is to do it guilt-free. Because otherwise you feel worse.
There’s no point in thinking that you’re stupid for being burnt out or depressed because then that means that you’re weak or not good enough, etc…..
Think about it for a sec because, on some level, that’s probably what you’re feeling.
There’s usually a sense of guilt associated with it and also a sense of shame, because you think you shouldn’t feel that way and don’t want other people to know about it (maybe they’ll think you’re not good enough or criticize you, etc.). Guilt and shame?….hmmmm, not a good mix!.
So, this is when you say to yourself that it’s OK that you’re experiencing this.
In fact, it may be the best thing that’s happened to you!
Really. And that’s because going through this difficult time is going to force you to take a good look at yourself, your own inner world, your fears, desires, frustrations, aspirations, habits, beliefs, behaviours, etc.
And doing that will make you be more in touch with yourself, your feelings and more connected to your intuition than ever before.
And that’s awesome! You’ll then be able to transform into a more assertive, balanced, strong and confident person. (that sounds perfect to me!)
Step 2: Decision.
Once you’re in peace with the fact that you have this situation to work on, the next step is to have the intention to do something about it.
I know it sounds simple, but this is the most important part, don’t underestimate it!.
It’s really powerful. Not just in this case, it applies to anything.
Your intention is the first and most important thing when it comes to making things happen.
(of course, intention alone won’t solve everything, there has to be your action involved, that’s coming afterwards)
Remember that in life it’s all about choices.
Even if you don’t realize it, you have a choice. You always have options to choose from.
In this case you have the choice to see your life as a crappy one and the world as a dark place to be in.
You can choose to continue to feel bad. That’s no problem, you’ll find plenty of excuses and facts to help you stay in that painful state some more time.
BUT you also have the choice to feel better, to look at the bright side of things (because there’s always one! If you don’t believe me, let’s talk and I’m sure I’ll help you find it ;), that’s one of my best natural talents haha).
You can choose to have fun in life, to be joyful, to learn from this and to take something positive out of it. You can grow from it.
So, are you ready to make that decision?
(I’m hoping you said “YES!” :D)
Step 3: Build your support team.
You’ve been probably dealing with all of this alone. Maybe that’s why it got to this point.
Now it’s time to get out of your head and speak to people about it.
Even if you’re feeling alone, you’re not.
You can find people to support you. You need support along your transformation process.
Think about ways to seek for this support. You can build your own support team with a combination of family members, friends, therapists, coaches, etc.
I had all of the above and more, even my boss and some coworkers from my day job knew about my situation and offered their support in the ways that were possible to them.
So, I was surrounded by all kinds of people who were giving me understanding and help.
For me, that made a total shift, talking to people and realizing that I had much more support than I thought and that I didn’t have to go through it alone. I could have but it would’ve been harder and there was a better option available. Same thing for you.
I’m not telling you to go to your boss tomorrow to say “I’m burnt out and depressed!” and cry. No. You’ll know whether this can apply to your specific situation or not.
What I am saying is, get out of your own head, talk to people and make your own list of people that you’ll have as your support team.
And, more importantly, reach out to them when needed.
When I say, “build your support team”, I don’t mean like get them all together and have regular formal meetings with all of them ;).
It’s simply for you, that you know who are the people you’re willing to reach out to and whom you can trust. The people you know will really wanna help you and support you.
There are so many more things I can list here for you like activities and strategies to feel better and transform your current situation, but that can be different to every person.
You’ll be able to continue to figure things out together with your support team. This 3 steps will get you started and are the most important things you need to be aware of.
What I want you to remember is that you were born to feel joy and to grow.
I don’t care who you are, where you come from or what you’re background is. You’re here to feel more joy and to grow.
And while we’ll always be exposed to potential causes of pain in our lives, we choose how we react to those situations.
As I told you before, we always have the option.
The other thing I want to say is that this is not about being super happy 24/7, 365 days of the year.
That’s not realistic.
It’s not about fooling yourself into believing that everything is fine either.
It’s about getting to know yourself better, finding out what triggers those feelings, remembering that you are not those feelings, letting them flow, choosing consciously your thoughts, changing your patterns of behaviour, loving yourself more, taking responsibility for your life and practicing more self-care and self-awareness.
For example in my case, now I’m much more able to not only realize when things are getting out of track but also to come back to my center much faster than before.
I know myself better, including my needs and I’m more able to attend those needs and to nurture myself properly in every way (physically, mentally, spiritually).
I’m able to communicate much better.
Also, when little breakdowns occur, I know better how to use them as an indicator that something might need adjustment and how to react to them letting them flow without resistance or guilt.
In general, I can be more at peace, feel more joy in my daily life and I can come back easier to that state of joy.
I want that for you too!
…Because Diamonds deserve to shine!!!
Please let me know in the comments below if this was helpful or if you have any questions.
And two more things:
1. Share this with anyone you know who might be dealing with burnout or depression.
I send you so much love!
p.s. If you’re feeling burnt out or depressed and need additional support from someone outside of your social circle, let’s talk!. I can help. I’d love to be in your support team. I wanna help you because I know exactly how it is and can show you how to deal with it. I’m a Purpose & Success Coach and you can request a Free phone call with me by CLICKING HERE so that we can talk about it. You’ll just need to submit your email to register and then I’ll contact you to schedule a free 45-minute call via Skype as soon as possible.